Are You Feeling Overwhelmed As A Mom During COVID?

Jan 13

If you’ve been active on social media during the pandemic, you’ve probably seen lots of pictures of moms baking cookies, putting puzzles together, and doing other wholesome activities with their kids. Even the busiest moms seem to be thriving despite COVID-19. They are doing it all (and even looking good while they do it!). “How do these moms do it?” many of my clients wonder. “Why am I so overwhelmed when everyone else is thriving?”

If you are like many of my clients, you started the COVID-19 pandemic determined to excel in your new role, perhaps as a full-time home teacher or nanny. Despite the added stress of not being able to rely on old support systems, maybe you initially succeeded. You managed to take charge of your kids’ online schooling and came up with a full schedule of board games, books, hikes, and other pandemic-friendly activities. Even though it didn’t feel sustainable, you hoped it would all be over soon.

Fast forward ten months, and the pandemic is still going strong. Schools are still closed, but you’re not as engaged with your kids’ homeschooling as you used to be. You’ve run out of ideas for activities, and you desperately wish for some time to yourself. You and your partner may be getting on each other’s nerves. And just when you think the pandemic is coming to an end, you hear rumors of slow vaccine rollouts and new, more contagious COVID strains cropping up.

If you’re feeling burned out and exhausted, you’re not alone. It may look like all of your Facebook friends are thriving, but I promise you: no one will emerge from this pandemic completely unscathed. People tend to showcase what’s good in their lives and sweep the rest under the rug—especially when posting on social media. That’s why it seems like you’re the only one struggling. But I know from my experience as a mom and therapist that we are all exhausted.

4 Tips For Overwhelmed Moms Fighting Pandemic Burnout

Sending the kids back to school or finding childcare may be impossible for you right now. The only effective solution to what’s making you overwhelmed might be the conclusion of the pandemic. There’s almost nothing you can do to control that, so in the meantime, how can you cope with overwhelm and burnout?

1. Let go of guilt.

There is a lot of focus on how the pandemic is affecting children. It’s true that many kids have been exhibiting new emotional and behavioral issues as a result of being isolated and cooped up. It is important to address these issues, of course, possibly by connecting your child with a qualified mental health counselor. However, it’s also essential to pay attention to your own needs.

Too few people are talking about the impact of the pandemic on mothers. If you don’t have the energy to schedule every minute of your child’s day, so what? So what if your child is spending a lot of time on their iPod? You can address minor issues like these after the pandemic, but in the meantime, don’t forget that you are already doing the best you can. If you can’t spend every minute of your day with your child, that is nothing to feel guilty about. By taking care of yourself, you will be in a better position to care for your family.

2. Act deliberately.

Do you consciously say to yourself, “I’m going to spend two hours on Facebook again today,” or is it just habitual? Many of my clients have been turning to social media during the pandemic as an avoidance mechanism. If you took a moment to consider how scrolling through social media makes you feel before picking up your phone, would you still do it? Or would you decide to do something more rejuvenating such as going for a walk or reading a magazine?

Renowned psychologist Brené Brown encourages burned-out people to think and act more intentionally in her book The Gifts Of Imperfection. When wholehearted men and women are exhausted and overwhelmed, Brown says, they “DIG Deep.” They get “Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, or simply setting intentions; Inspired to make new and different choices; Going. They take action.” By following this advice, you’ll be more likely to make choices that energize and replenish you and stay away from soul-sucking activities.

3. Reimagine self-care.

Pre-pandemic, it was possible to get a regular massage, facial, pedicure, or another relaxing service. It seemed like a luxury, and many people struggled to carve out time for it, but at least it was available. Now, most spas, salons, and other places of respite are closed. It is impossible to take a traditional vacation or even go out to dinner without worrying about catching a deadly virus.

It’s hard to focus on self-care as a mom amid a global pandemic. Most moms are just trying to survive. Even though it may seem like an extravagance, self-care is vital for moms right now. Whether you decide to create a candle-lit respite in your bathtub, go for a drive by yourself, or have a virtual happy hour with an old friend, you must give yourself permission to care for yourself and make time for things that bring you joy.

4. Ask for support

You may not have access to teachers or nannies right now, but is there someone else in your life you can turn to? Might your spouse be able to lend a hand? Do you have a parent or other relative in your pandemic bubble who might be able to watch the kids one night a week? What about virtual support? Perhaps you could enroll your child in online storytime or another online activity, during which time you can catch up on something else or engage in self-care.

If everyone in your life is just as overwhelmed as you are right now, you are in good company. Consider working with a therapist to get the support you need. A qualified counselor can offer a helpful new perspective. Sometimes it helps a lot just to have someone to listen to your concerns without judging or having a vested in interest in what you do.

I help overwhelmed moms overcome anxiety, depression, and pandemic burnout. Learn about the therapy services I provide for moms, or contact me for a free, 20-minute phone consultation.